Have you ever wondered what song might sum up your team’s season? No? Well here’s our tongue-in-cheek review of the Ryman South in song-form anyway…

Burgess Hill Town- Can’t Hold Us by Macklemore. Nothing was stopping this lot winning the league. Deserved champions from start to finish.

Folkestone Invicta – Fancy by Iggy Azalea – Folkestone? They’re so fancy, don’t you already know? Perennial play-off contenders. Same again next year?

Faversham Town – Quit Playing Games by the Backstreet Boys. Oh Faversham, quit playing games with our hearts! You looked like you might challenge Burgess Hill for the league and then fell to Merstham in a play-off penalty-shoot out.

Merstham – The Birdie Song by the Tweets. Of course in honour of the Moatsiders’ boss, Hayden Bird who has guided Merstham to the play-offs for the first time and then to the promised land of the Premier Division.
Whyteleafe – OnlyHappy When It Rains by Garbage. Brilliant season for the mighty Leafe but couldn’t miss that song when they have a fancy 3G pitch to show off. Well, as long as they don’t get a build-up of crumb…

Worthing – Barbie Girl by Aqua – Plastic is fantastic on the south coast as the Rebels become the newest converts to the 3G gang.

Three Bridges – I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift. Much like Harry Styles, Bridges look so innocent but as Miss Swift and numerous referees found out, don’t judge a book by its cover.

Whitstable Town – Crazy Frog Song by Crazy Frog. The only song more annoying than the droning ‘Whiiiiiiiitstable’ chant.

Herne Bay – Dark Horse by Katy Perry. Little Herne Bay just missing out of the play-offs??

Guernsey – Long Way To Go by Cassie. The Channel Islanders have a long way to go both literally and metaphorically – weren’t they meant to be in the Conference by now?

Tooting & Mitcham United – Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum by Middle of the Road. Fell short of challenging for promotion, not in danger of relegation. Well done.

Sittingbourne – Forgotten by Linkin Park. Blah season.

Corinthian-Casuals – We are One (Ole ole) by Pitbull. The Casuals love their Brazil links and quite frankly, other than a trip to South America, I can’t remember them doing anything else of note this season.

South Park – Hot & Cold by Katy Perry. The highs and lows of South Park’s results this season have been extremes. Thank god Chris Smith bangs them in as quickly as they concede them.

Chipstead – Let’s Get it Started by the Black Eyed Peas. They’ve been top of the league and also worryingly close to the dropzone but new boss Simon Colbran says next year is the Chips’ year.

Hythe Town – Unpretty by TLC. Barcelona aren’t quaking in their Nikes, but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Walton & Hersham – What’s My Age Again? by Blink 182. No seriously Tony Reid, what is your age again?

Walton Casuals – 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls. Rumours have been rife all season but Casuals have taken to Twitter to confirm talk is cheap and they aren’t merging with the other Waltoners. (Despite the fact it probably makes sense. Ditto Eastbourne clubs)

Hastings United – Better Best Forgotten by Steps – So much promise in pre-season but Hastings have failed to live up to expectations this campaign.

Carshalton Athletic – Back for Good by Take That. First season in Division One South after relegation from the Premier, and on that showing they are going to stay here

Ramsgate – Revolving Door by Crazy Town. Justin Luchford, Dean Hill and now Simon Halsey are out and the Wards are in, along with a long, long list of signings.

East Grinstead Town – Tubthumping by Chumbawamba. They are down (and officially relegated, but as we all know, that means nothing) and they’ll get back up again. Reprieve from the drop is already in the bag.

Redhill – Loyal by Chris Brown. A high turnover of players has really cost Redhill, with estimates of close to 100 players having played in the red and white stripes this season.

Horsham – My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. The Hornets have had more drama this season than either Kate Winslet or Leonardo Di Caprio could muster, but they have always looked to be going the same way as the Titanic.

Last edited by DeePee (13/5/2015 4:35 pm)