I am trying to organise a Footy Tournament to break up the monotony of the Summer break. 3 games to be played on the 3G pitches at the front of the KNK, 2 semis and the final. The teams entered so far are as follows.....

                                       Real Ale Madrid
Dave (DeePee) Penn..........CAPTAIN
Alan (Ashtree) J
Bill (Waldorf) Carmody
Andy (Handy Andy) Harrup
Bill (Hillbilly) Hill
This team will be sponsored by CAMRA

                                   The Obesity Rollers FC
Dave (Bondy) Bond......CAPTAIN
Gary (Namedropper) Walker
'Tubby' Tim Marcus
Dave (Golden Goals) Irons
John (Statto) Thingy
For health & safety reasons Bondy's side will be adopting a unique and highly illegal formation of 4 goalkeepers and Tim up front on his own. The St John's Ambulance Brigade have been alerted and placed on standby.

                                 Right Said Fred FC
Bog End Ultra.........CAPTAIN, LEADER, LEGEND
Joe (Gypsy Joe) James
Andy Mc........(Quit moaning Andy, you're playing for us and that's final)
QPR (Emmy) Emile......(a ringer I've drafted in cos he's good at football and I want to win)
Lee (Hally8) Hall...........(for the same reasons as above)

                                Tooting Youth FC
Anthony (Scoop) Harrold.......CAPTAIN
Maarlon
Mason Walker
TJ Nkoma
Harry Hamlet (Designated Overage Player)

Ties to be played under the scorching sun in mid-July sometime. Admission free.

I refused to accept Gary Walkers perception of Frank Wilson appearing unfriendly and unco-operative so I approached him and asked if he would be so kind as to present the winning team with the trophy to which he politely replied "Piss off big nose"......so Billy Smith's doing it instead. I can hardly wait.