Bog End Ultra wrote:

I was talking to one time Bog End stalwart Pete Woodhouse at the friendly against Norwich last week and it reminded me of one of the funniest things I've ever heard at a football match.

Tooting were away to Wembley F.C. on a grey, dank, overcast, miserable day in their ramshakle stadium. Tooting were agonisingly close to the automatic promotion places while Wembley were struggling badly at the foot of the table. I was plotted up on the tiny terrace opposite the main stand and Pete Woodhouse and a couple of his pals were a little to my left, to their left was another group of Tooting fans and in front of us were 3 old Wembley fans. When I say old, I mean ancient, none of them would have been under 70. I ( as most people do ) have the utmost respect for old boys like them, bothering to come out at their age on a shitty miserable day to support their local team. Pete Woodhouse isn't like most people though.

The game was awful, Tooting were struggling badly to impose themselves against inferior opposition on an absolute quagmire of a pitch and Pete was becoming increasingly frustrated. At the breakdown of another passage of play Pete shouts out, with the tone of desperation clearly evident in his voice......... ''COME ON TOOTING !!!'' one of the old Wembley fans, a tall bloke in a trenchcoat and flatcap slipped into wind-up mode and shouted ''COME ON WEMBLEY'' Pete shouted again ''COME ON TOOTING !!'' and the old bloke clearly intent on getting under Pete's skin shouted ''COME ON WEMBLEY'' Pete decided to take it to a new level and yelled for the obvious benefit of the old geezer ''COME ON TOOTING, LET'S BEAT THIS LOAD OF OLD RUBBISH AND WE CAN GET PROMOTED SO WE DON'T HAVE TO COME TO SHITHOLES LIKE THIS NEXT SEASON !!!!!'' the old boy, half leaning over his shoulder shouts in Pete's direction ''DON'T YOU KID YOURSELF MATE, YOU'LL STILL BE IN THIS DIVISION TEN YEARS FROM NOW'' ''OH YEAH ? replies Pete ''WELL AT LEAST I'LL BE HERE TO SEE IT, YOU'LL BE SIX FEET UNDER YOU OLD confucius !!!''

The majority of the Tooting fans who'd witnessed the verbal exchange turned on Pete and let him know he was out of order talking to the old boy like that. Personally, I thought it was hilarious.

Our Pete? Easy to wind up? Never.

I wonder if the old fella from Wembley is still with us ?
 

I have to admit I did laugh at that BEU, the description did a lot to paint a very amusing picture.  Something that amused me was one of our more esteemed fans having an exchange with a steward about a bloke smoking a cigar at close proximity.  "You shouldn't let him do that, I've got a heart condition" he said, as he was clutching a burger and chips so greasy the oil was dripping through the paper...........