How can you turn yourself inside out DeePee?

Dave - you could turn your knowledge into a weekly column for the program - Dave M's handy household hints.

Dear Dave,
My lodger John, an occasional Tooting and Mitcham watcher, has the irritating habit of leaving all the kitchen appliances on after he's finished using them, he then complains when the energy bills arrive that they are too high. Do you think a good hard punch in the head will help to resolve this issue ?

                                             Yours Sincerely
                          Frustrated of The Bog End

Dear Dave,
Thankyou for your expert advice, it was partially helpful. After administering the punch my lodger removed his cheese and broccoli quiche from the oven and turned it off immediately. The downside to all this is I have been released on bail and am due to appear before Wimbledon Magistrates on September 9th charged with Actual Bodily Harm. Do you know anyone who would be willing to act as a character witness ? Also can you suggest something to remove a bloodstain from my beige Axminster carpet ?

                                                  Love
                                                Boggie x

 Peroni Nastro Azzuro is over priced (although mixed with blood may improve the taste). Try a cheep Aldi or Lidl Red wine!!!! Or a gallon of Esso extra and a lit match - this will remove all the evidence

Last edited by DaveM (21/8/2015 1:54 pm)

Whoops sorry - just re read my advice, when I said "Try a cheep Aldi or Lidl Red wine!!!! Or a gallon of Esso extra and a lit match - this will remove all the evidence" I actually meant Try Mr Muscle carpet cleaner available at all good supermarkets!!